'google658fd05d77029796.html' Hilarious Quotes | The Original Poetry



A wedding is just like a funeral except you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

Why is it when we talk to God, we are praying, but when God talks to us, we are schizophrenic.
- Lily Tomlin

Behind every successful man, stands a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
- Brooks Hays

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
― Mark Twain

Normal people with normal problems can be hilarious.
Tommy Lee Jones

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. 
― Betty Reese

I'm single by choice. Not my choice. 
Orny Adams

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around chinatown.
― Woody Allen

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted. 
― Bob Monkhouse

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
― Henny Youngman

The conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
― Arthur Bloc

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 
― Unknown Author

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you are down there.
― George Burns

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
― Rita Mae Brown

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
― Les Dawson

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. 
― A. Whitney Brown

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
― Quentin Crisp

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
― Lily Tomlin

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
― German Proverb

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
― Groucho Marx

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
― Ambrose Bierce

The road to success is always under construction. 
― Arnold Palmer


No, I don't have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
― 
Ashleigh Brilliant

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One Response so far.

  1. NYC quotes..worth reading..thanx for writing..I agree with Rita Mae brown;-)

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